Perilous Duck Crossings

Ducks crossing highway

A few weeks ago our family was driving into Boise, ID.  We were travelling in the left lane of the freeway, a concrete barrier on the left side of us, cars on the right.  Suddenly a mother duck and her babies following behind started across the freeway.  The car just ahead and to the right barely missed the little ducks.  I had to do some good maneuvering to miss them as well and everyone in the car inhaled sharply as I came within just inches.  I'm sure the mother didn't realize that she was leading her family toward a concrete barrier which would stop their progression and complicate keeping her family safe even further.  But certainly she had to know that crossing a busy street was potentially hazardous.  The only way out would be to backtrack that treacherous and possibly perilous road before they could reach safety.

I wonder how often we, as parents, lead our children into dangerous ground thinking nothing about it.  Possibly we watch inappropriate TV shows with less than virtuous messages.  Maybe it's music.  Perhaps we lead them into dangerous ground with our attitudes or negative language.

http://activerain.com/blogsview/909216/things-aren-t-always-as-they-seem

It is more important than ever that we realize our children follow us, whether we want them to or not, they're watching and most likely will emulate our actions.  From the time they're born they learn by watching and imitating us or doing those things we teach them- everything from talking to eating to dressing to running.  It doesn't stop once they hit elementary and have other teachers and friends to follow.  They continue to watch us.  To imitate.  What a terrible feeling when we realize our kids have followed us into dangerous territory and we have a lot of fixing to do.  What makes it worse is that there are no guarantees that our children will follow us back across that treacherous ground and into safe territory again.

The best option is to just keep ourselves in the safety of the Lord's commandments in the first place.

Accidental Overdose

Have you ever been going through motions, not really paying attention to what's happening and WHAM!  You make a huge mistake?  This was me last night.  My back has been out since last Saturday.  After quite a few days of not getting any better I decided it's time to hit my hard core meds.  I hate taking these because they've been known to make me hallucinate (creepy old men looking at me from behind a curtain that isn't there, momma duck and her babies strolling through my kitchen) and they make me sleep hard but when I wake up I feel like I'm in a fog.  It was time though.  I decided to alternate my meds.  One soma, then 3 ibuprofen, one soma, 3 ibuprofen... Last night I went to take my soma, apparently in the ibuprofen mode, and took 3 of them.  I realized this just as I swallowed.  I immediately went to the bathroom and threw up (shudder, ick, eww!) everything I've eaten in the past month but no sign of the pills.  Next step, call poison control.  The good news was I probably wouldn't die.  The bad news was my husband had to keep me up until 3am just to make sure.  Poor guy, constantly shaking me, "Trina, wake up!"  Needless to say, this morning we're both miserable...I think.  I could be hallucinating.

The fog is starting to clear.  I was thinking that it's similar to going through motions in life, not really paying attention to what's important, not worrying about our actions then WHAM!  We realize we've let the adversary get a hold on us.  Maybe we realize because we do something stupid that sort of wakes us up from our stupor.  Maybe it's someone else or a life event that makes us aware.  In either case we have to do what it takes to get back on track and change our behaviors so it doesn't happen again.  I think it's also important to be aware that just because our choices are ours, doesn't mean they don't affect those around us.  Ask my husband this morning.  He'll back me up.

I have no idea how to end this post I'm not quite that cleared up enough.  More good news though.  I didn't hallucinate!  Weird.

I'd like a burger and three regular sized sodas, please.

Sunday night was the Miss USA pageant.  We love watching the interview section of pageants.  How the ladies handle themselves under pressure.  Whether they answer the way they feel or answer the way they think the judges want them to.  Their answers can be very telling.

Miss Georgia, Jasmyn Wilkins, was the first of the top 5 to answer an interview question.  This is what she was asked, “The Mayor of New York City plans to ban the sale of large, sugary drinks. Does this go too far?”  This was her answer, “I don’t think it goes too far, you know.  Those drinks have so much sugar in them, and they are unhealthy for you. They are kinda delicious. I love to have my Big Gulp when I go to7-11. But I think that it is a little bit too much, and I’m glad that they are putting some sort of restrictions on it. So. I think it’s a good thing.”

I'm becoming more and more amazed at the amount of people who think force is the best way to handle things.  When my kids were little I worried about them touching the stove top.  I took precautions to help their safety.  Put the handles toward the back of the stove rather than hanging over the top where little fingers could grab at it for instance.  I also taught them about hot and cold.  When the stove was on sometimes I'd pick them up and carefully put their hands just close enough they could feel heat without getting burned, but so they'd feel and understand that the stove was hot.  Then I'd explain that we don't touch things that are hot or we get burned.  As they got a little older and they could see over the top of the stove, I taught them in more detail such as if the burner is red it's hot, don't touch it.  If the oven door is warm it's probably hot inside etc.  Then when they got even older I taught them how to use the oven and stove top using safety measures.  


Never once did I move the oven out to the garage door.  Never did I build a wall around the stove and forbid my kids go near it.  I educated them and yes, I let them learn from natural consequences.   There were a couple times that a child reached up and touched the hot plate...none of them ever did it twice.


What would have happened if I'd have just taken the temptation away?  Moved the stove out to the garage, protected them from making the wrong decision?  Where would they be now?  They would be adults who haven't learned about hot ovens and stove safety.  They wouldn't be as informed and educated and they'd probably be burning themselves every time they made Ramen noodles, which is probably all they could cook too.

What about God?  Didn't he give us agency?  The right to choose wrong or right.  I'm grateful that he allowed Adam and Eve to eat that apple.  Yes, because of it they were kicked out of the garden, but because of it you and I are here as well.  Free agency is a beautiful thing.  If we are forced to choose someone else's way how will we learn and grow?  We can't.


Do you recall a time in your life when someone wouldn't allow you to make a choice you wanted?  It probably didn't go over well.  Possibly, you were even more tempted than when you had the option.   Look at how well prohibition went over.


Back to the large sugary drinks.  It's pretty well known that a 64 oz. soda is bad for us.  But by banning large drinks will that stop people from drinking lots of soda or other sugary drinks?  I say no.  Instead of drinking a can of soda can't someone drink 3?  Instead of getting the large cup at the restaurant can't someone just refill their small cup over and over?  I know that if I eat or drink ANYTHING in large quantities it's going to be bad for my body.   But does that mean that because I may not choose the right someone else should just take the option away so that I don't fail?  Of course not!  


As adults, do we really want people determining what's good for us, what's okay for us, what's allowed-and then enforcing it?   What if the next politician that comes along says ice cream is bad for us and bans it?  Then chocolate cake?  Then fried chicken?  Should restaurants only be able to serve one serving size courses?  Should you only be able to purchase a 4 oz. steak at your local steak house?  Certainly that would help this country's percentage of obesity improve.  What happens when food isn't enough?  When some politician says we're overweight because we're too idle.  Will televisions have auto turn-off timers?  Will certain religions be banned because someone decides which ones are right or wrong?  


Wherefore, men...are free to choose liberty and eternal life, through the great Mediator of all men, or to choose captivity and death.
2 Nephi 2:27


We have to allow people to make decisions, even if they're wrong.   That's God's plan.  Who are we to say there's a better way?  If this life is a test then we must be allowed to succeed or fail.   It's often through our failures that we succeed.   Look around.  Who do you know that is strong and successful?  Do you think they ever made a wrong turn that got them to where they are now?  I'm guessing yes. 


I know what you're thinking.  They may not turn around though.  They may just keep going down the wrong road.  This is why we have such an obesity problem.  You're right.  They may not.  But that's their choice, they'll reap the consequences whether it's weight, health or both.  I guarantee that they know why their overweight or unhealthy- and taking away large sugary drinks isn't going to fix this.  If someone wants temporary pleasure instead of long-term rewards of health then that's their choice.  Why is this so hard to see?  Force is Satan's plan!


Moses 4:3 Wherefore, because that Satan rebelled against me, and sought to destroy the agency of man, which I, the Lord God, had given him, and also, that I should give unto him mine own power; by the power of mine Only Begotten, I caused that he should be cast down;


BTW, Miss Georgia was 4th runner up.  Last place of those who answered questions.  

Jessica

My baby is 13 today!  Officially a teenager.  Jessica (or Jaide as many of us call her) is an amazing, funny girl.  So let me share some fun facts.

Isn't she beautiful?

She was a momma's girl.  She cried when I left her with dad or anyone else.  Wouldn't let grandma pick her up until she was two.

She never crawled, she bear walked and it was pretty dang cute. 

I wanna squeeze her like that

She fell asleep everywhere, in her highchair, on the stairs, most often on the potty. 

She's a planner.  She has her whole life planned out on paper.  Her goals, her kids names, the order they'll come, her rules (which has been a blessing because when she doesn't like ours I can usually point out 

that she's written it down as one of the rules for her own kids.)  She even knows what her and 

her husband will do for a living.

I asked her once, what she'll do if her husband doesn't like the names she's chosen she replied, 

"I'll let him choose the last name."

She hates dishes.  Her future husband will be willing to do dishes or she won't marry him.  

She says it's a deal breaker.

She's a funny girl.  ALWAYS making us laugh!

Jaide's 12th Birthday

Kindergarten graduation

She's very brave, forgiving and kind.  Last year some "friends" decided to trick her into drinking alcohol at school.  Their goal was to  make the

 'Mormon girl' do something she wouldn't have otherwise.  

Their plan worked - when she found out what had happened she was crushed.  She wanted them to know that she'd rather no friends than friends 

who'd want her to lower her standards.  

After a lot of prayer and crying it was determined (with Jessica's permission) to get law enforcement in on it.  The girls were held accountable 

for what they'd done, enough to get the message across.  

Then she chose to not press charges as she felt they'd learned their lesson.  

A teacher called me and said that the kids in her class were 

                                       talking about it and they respected Jessica for how she handled the situation. 

                                            They felt she was brave and forgiving and didn't feel they could      

                                            react the same way if it was them.  I was VERY proud of her.

Jessica is great at sports.  Her favorites are volleyball, basketball and tennis.  She's a fast runner as well but chooses the first three sports as seasons overlap with track and cross country.  In basketball this year, she made more points than the rest of her team put together.  

She was team captain for basketball and co-team-captain for volleyball.  

She holds the records at her old elementary school for the most laps run in a day and for the year.  

She ran track last year and her coach accidentally put her in the wrong event.  

She was running around the track and suddenly there were hurdles in her way.  

She'd never leaped one before.  She didn't let that fluster her too much...she took second place.

Jessica is quick to make people feel loved.  She's very aware of people around her and loves to go with me to do things for others, especially if it's a secret.

This is right next to her bed

Jessica has also been reading the Book of Mormon.  She's very adamant about reading and saying her prayers each night.  She has this hanging by her bed.  She's almost done with Alma and is excited that understanding is starting to come to her better.  

Happy Birthday, Jaide!  I love you.

Jessica (left) and her sisters Neicia and McKenna

Jaide and Santa

Jessica 

Jessica and uncle Jared just off his mission

Jessica in the beautiful sweater great grandma Anderson made her

Jessica just 3 days old

Jessica with Lexi and Cindy

Jessica and grandma Anderson (Fishin' grandma)

Jessica at our new property

Linked a day late to Emmy's Proud Mommy Moments so that I could post this on Jaide's birthday. Link up with her if you'd like to brag or rag on your kids. (Is it bad that I linked to her twice this week with the same kid? Hey it's different blogs- hopefully that makes it okay.)

My Izzybee

A daughter is a gift of love.  ~Author Unknown  (This is the quote I'd post about her)

Daughters are like flowers, they fill the world with beauty, and sometimes attract pests.  ~Author Unknown  (This is the quote my husband would choose.)

Some people aren't blessed to have daughters.  I have been blessed with three of them.  Today happens to be my middle daughter's 15th birthday.  This morning I took McKenna to school. Her hair was bouncing with curls and I just thought how stinking cute she is.  I LOVE that girl. I listened to her talk about all of her blessings and it warmed my heart.  

Yesterday at the store someone thought she was in 5th grade...she's a freshman.  Very typical for this tiny, baby-faced princess.

Things haven't always been easy for McKenna.  When she was little I suspected she couldn't hear.  The big given was when I stood behind her and loudly said, "McKenna do you want a cookie?" and got no response after 3-4 tries.

I took her to appointment after appointment trying to figure out the problem.  I usually heard things like, "She doesn't have a problem, she has 3 older siblings who are doing the talking for her."  or "She has selective hearing."  I couldn't get anyone to listen to me.  The Dr.'s I took her to weren't equipped to test an 18 month old.  

By 2 1/2 she was trying to talk but very few people could understand her.  She was frustrated and ornery.  So was I.  So, I enrolled at Idaho State University to be a speech and language pathologist with a minor in sign language.  I signed her up for a hearing test, geared toward kids her age, through Head Start.  There was a huge waiting list, 4-5 months out.  They let me know in advance that they'd give me a 2 day appointment notice and we had to come at the time they specified or we'd be put on the bottom of the list again.  I remember thinking I'd drop anything to get her there.  The time came.  I got the call.  The appointment was scheduled half way through my psychology final!  I talked to my professor, to see if I could take it at a different time.  I don't think he believed I couldn't change the appointment and he denied my request.  While I was going to school I met one of the audiologists there.  I told him my concerns about McKenna, who was 3 by this time, and my frustrations with Doctors and the Head Start appointment issue.  He told me to take my final and bring McKenna up to the department and he and a couple students would look at her.

Alleluia moment!  They did a tympanometry test on her and within minutes we found out she had 10% hearing in one ear and 2% in the other.  The good news- it could be fixed!

 Learning hasn't been an easy thing for her.  She was quite behind by the time she could hear again.  She had years of speech therapy for articulation, word use and cluttering (speed).  The cool thing about her though, is she's a fighter.  This girl works hard!  Many of her teachers have told me that she tries harder than any of their other students.  I've rarely had to remind her to do homework and she has an amazing drive to do well in each class.  I'm VERY proud of her!

The best part of all; she is turning into a young woman who's as beautiful on the inside as she is on the outside.

Fun facts about McKenna

1.  She wants to be a photographer.

2.  She loves to photoshop.

3.  She loves kids and babysits for many families.

4.  She loves to sing.

5.  She was Amaryllis in The Music Man 2 years ago and an orphan in Annie this year.

6.  She loves Zebra print and the colors purple and yellow.

7.  She hates nuts and loves chocolate (especially dark)

8.  She's a daddy's girl.  

9.  Her middle name is Isabelle after her great grandma.  I nicknamed her Izzybee because
     she was as busy as a bee.  Then she developed the cutest bounciest walk and I started 
     calling her Kenna-Roo (like Kangaroo)- It's stuck and that's what her friends call her.  

10.  She stands up for what she believes in.  She'd rather have no friends than friends who

     try to get her to lower her standards.  She loves sharing the gospel with her friends, too.

I lOVE YOU Kenna-Roo!!!

I served an apostle of God!

I've been anxiously awaiting a moment in my schedule to blog about an amazing weekend.  February 11-12 our stake had the privilege of listening to an apostle of God, Elder M. Russell Ballard, who came with Elder J. Craig Rowe our area seventy and President Cannon, the Boise Mission President.  I'm not going to write down everything they said- even though I kept very good notes and could probably come close.   I have enjoyed going back over the notes though and just keeping what they said alive in my heart.  What amazing messages.  I'd like to share just a couple things that stuck out to me.

M. Russell Ballard

At the beginning of the adult session Saturday night, President Eljay Waite, the first counselor in the stake Presidency spoke and promised us that if we had come with questions that we'd find the answers during the session.  I love those kinds of promises.  Especially when they apply to me.  I had in fact come with a question in regards to my prayers.  Throughout that session of conference I had thoughts that I knew were my answers.  To top that off Elder Ballard brought up, for just a moment, my specific question and he answered it, which I was able to add to my other thoughts.  By the time the session was over I felt quite satisfied at the answers revealed to me.  What a blessing!

Something else that stood out to me was a statement.  Each time I read over my notes it jumps out at me again.  Elder Ballard said, "The Lord is just as close to each of you as he is to President Monson."  I LOVE that!  When I think about it I know it's true although if I'd never heard him say it I never would have thought it.  That makes me feel amazing.  I already have no doubt of my Heavenly Father's love for me.  I see it manifested constantly.  But when I think of President Monson, a prophet of God, who speaks face to face with Him it's amazing to think of that relationship so similar in feelings to my relationship with Him.  How fortunate we are.  This is my realization.  I've struggled with heartbreak and sometimes desperation over a son who's chosen not to have anything to do with the gospel.  I remember thinking at one time that if someone like President Monson could petition the Lord for shepherds on my son's behalf, for experiences that would help his heart to be softened, and to remember what it felt like to have the spirit, to remember his testimony and the overwhelming amount of love and friendships he had in the church, that it would be better than just my own pleadings.  I was wrong.  My Heavenly Father is just as close to me as to President Monson.  My pleadings are listened to.  I may not see him face to face when I talk to him but I do feel his presence.  I know I'm being heard and listened to.  Often I'm comforted and loved and taught.  I have just as much right to personal revelation as the prophet does.  How cool is that!  When that closeness isn't there, it's only me that's not feeling it.  He still is.

Another thought I've had is that Elder Ballard is real.  He's very much like us.  I guess if we really think about it we can gather that but listening to him speak really brought that thought home.  I found out he falls asleep in movie theaters (just like me), when he was younger he felt like leaving church when his kids were noisy and he wasn't getting anything out of it anyway (just like I did when the kids were younger), and he forgets things- important things (like I do on a daily basis).  Elder Ballard brought his 17 year old grandson, Trueman, with him.  He's a neat young man preparing for his mission.  Elder Ballard was talking about grandparents being 'memory makers' and he asked Trueman share a favorite memory of his grandfather.  Trueman told about going on the pioneer trek as a family.  He said in Martin's Cove he and a cousin found some glass looking rocks.  Elder Ballard told them of a significance they had with the pioneers.  Trueman couldn't remember what that significance was though and turned to his grandfather to ask.  Everyone witnessed the smallest of headshakes left and right and that ever so slight widening of the eyes that told Trueman, 'You're on your own here, Buddy.'  It was quite a funny moment.  Trueman turned back to the mic and let everyone know that what he remembered most was that Elder Ballard had told them how important those rocks were that he evidently couldn't remember any longer.  What a sweet relationship they had.  As Trueman spoke his grandfather's arm was lovingly around him.  I loved seeing Elder Ballard so real and down to earth.

I had a great privilege after the stake conference.  I know it sounds silly and small but I got to set Elder Ballard's table.  CG is the wife of our stake president and had the HUGE job of feeding the visitors.  Think about that, for just a moment.  She had to cook dinner while stake conference was in session.  As women we want everything so perfect for anyone we entertain.  When I entertain it takes me hours to get everything just the way I want it.  I'm usually rushing up until the moment my guests come.  I can't imagine spending the two hours prior to my "dinner party" sitting and not cooking, cleaning, arranging, etc.   I was in the choir seats so I was able to see as she sat there, listening to the messages and feeling the spirit, while the dinner cooked out of her sight.  As I think about it I get a glimpse of Mary (the sister of Martha and Lazarus) who had many tasks but chose the better part.  I know it probably was made easier because she'd planned before hand.  She was VERY organized!  Which made my job easy.  Place settings were ready to be set on the table, plates and chargers together, napkins already folded etc.  Everything was beautiful.  I was blessed to have a small roll in it.  Now I can say I've served an apostle of God, even if it was just a small little thing it feels very big.

Dallin H. Oaks

Two weeks prior to our conference Elder Dallin H. Oaks was at the conference in my dads and brothers stake.  After it was over my brother, Jared, took his three little girls up to meet him.  As he got there Elder Oaks had started to walk away.  Jared called, "Elder Oaks, would it be okay if my girls met you? "  Rather than just giving a quick hand shake Elder Oaks sat down on the pew and gathered my little angel nieces into his arms and loved them.  I am so touched by this showing of love it brings tears to my eyes.  Then Jared shook his hand and said, "I've actually met you a couple times."  Elder Oaks asked when.  Jared told him that when he was a young boy he was able to sit up front in the old tabernacle a couple times with our mom who was sometimes in a wheelchair.  Elder Oaks asked, "Who was your mother?"  Jared replied, "Marcia Anderson."  Elder Oaks said, "I remember your mom!"  Again, tears reach my eyes.  If an apostle of God can remember my mom from more than 10 years ago from just a couple meetings then surely the Lord remembers each of us!  Nothing of new news but of such great importance.  I love these reminders.

Families CAN be together forever...it's up to us.

In an effort to help my girls gain a love for the scriptures, each Tuesday and Thursday morning after our family scripture study I tell them a story from the scriptures and ask them a question or two about their feelings of the person we talk about or the events that take place.  I'd had a feeling that reading scriptures as a family and them on their own wasn't quite enough.  For a couple of them they've just started and are still struggling to understand what they're reading.  I'm thrilled with their obedience and enthusiasm but I really want them to have a great understanding and love of what they're reading.  There are amazing stories!  I'm sure that each of my girls have someone from the scriptures they can (or will eventually) relate to.  I think that's when that real love comes.  When they realize that the people in the scriptures were like them- PEOPLE, with problems and trials just like us, who don't always know what to do about the issues at hand but have a guide in the Lord and our church leaders.  In the successful stories in the scriptures there is a trend that when we turn to the Lord, he walks us through our struggles and everything ends up for the best- Heavenly Fathers best for us that is, which is far better than anything we could create for ourselves.

A couple months ago I taught them of Hannah.  I've thought a lot about Hannah since then.  I absolutely LOVE her!  I've wondered if my mom related to her?  My mom passed away about 10 years ago so I'm not able to ask.  Hannah was a righteous woman who, like many women in the Old Testament, was barren.  She wanted a child with all her heart.  She watched Pininnah, the other wife of her husband, have children and was then ridiculed by this woman for not having any.  There was so much pressure then to have a son- each person hoping the Savior would come through their line.  Add that to wanting to please your husband as well as the natural yearning of a woman to nurture and love a precious child of their own.

My beautiful mother

My mom had a terrible time carrying children.  Because of an extra uterus she was able to carry a child in one uterus and while pregnant with that child, get pregnant in the other uterus as well.  She was already two months pregnant with a little boy when I was conceived.  Unfortunately, she usually got pregnant in her right uterus but was rarely able to carry a baby full term in it, when she did they didn't live.  The consequences?  5 still births, 11 miscarriages, 1 absorbed pregnancy and 4 children that lived.  I was the oldest living child.  6 of the miscarriages happened before I was ever born.  I know that like Hannah, my mom yearned for a child of her own.  I know she spent a significant amount of time on her knees asking the Lord to help her body take care of the life inside of her rather than fight against it.


Hannah was ridiculed and teased by Peninnah which hurt her terribly.  Interestingly, she didn't go to her husband, who was a righteous man that loved her deeply, with her problems.  She went to temple and cried in anguish to the Lord.  I know my mom was somewhat ridiculed for her choice to continue trying to have children.  I remember a time when someone had made a comment about it being her own fault for getting pregnant knowing she'd have problems.  I could see pain in her eyes.  I never heard her talk badly about this person.  There was a time later in life, after her child bearing years were over, my own little family moved up the street from her.  Our next door neighbor came to meet me and gave me the "lowdown" on the ward.  She said there is a lady down the street who she avoided all the time because she'd ask for rides and was a big inconvenience, often faking illness.  This woman was talking about my mom, not realizing we were related.  I kindly let her know who I was and that my mom's brain tumor and health problems were anything but pretend.  I know my mom felt certain peoples judgments but was always kind in return.  I know she went to the Lord with her concerns.  I picture my own mother going to the temple like Hannah did.  I picture her doing this when her body betrayed her heart and fought the precious lives inside her and I picture this when she'd lose yet another child.  I remember her going to the temple for answers, for peace, to be closer to Heavenly Father when she talked to him in prayer.

For This Child I Prayed by Elspeth Young

On the night Hannah cried to the Lord with all her heart she made a promise to him.  If she could be given a son she would give him back to the Lord.  I'm amazed at this.  This is the thing she wants more than anything.  She didn't promise to bring her son up righteously, she offered back the very thing she was asking for.  And it was a life condition.  In other words, she offered to give him to the Lord, for the entirety of his mortal life, not for a certain time period.   Hannah was granted her deepest desire and Samuel was born.  True to her word, as soon as he was weened she took him to the temple to live, learn and serve the Lord for all his days.  Hannah said that she lent Samuel to the Lord.  I think of that in relation to my mom and the children she didn't have on this earth.  In a way she was lending them to the Lord.

The same must be so for people who lose children to death after birth as well.  I know people who've lost children at young ages.  In each case I'm amazed at the strength they must have to get through such a trying time.  They truly suffer.  I have no doubt they come out stronger than before, and probably stronger than they'd imagined possible.  They too remind me of Hannah.  If they are righteous then in a sense they too are lending them to the Lord.  The knowledge that there will be a time when they are reunited makes it much easier to live with this type of loss.

This thought made me think about those parents who don't have this knowledge or understanding, or those parents who don't want to listen.  Our Heavenly Father made a way for families to be together after this life and forever.  Some of us choose to follow the guidelines in order to obtain this blessing.  Others choose not to.  I found an article from the November 1999 issue of the Liahona by Jay E. Christensen of the seventy.  He said, "When serving as a mission president, I met a couple who were grief-stricken over the death of their infant son. The young couple had gone to other denominations for help and answers but found that their doctrines brought little comfort. Also, their limited family funds could not cover the costs for a funeral service in their church; therefore, we assisted them with the funeral and burial of their son.

The missionaries began the discussions and watched in the parents’ countenances the transformation occurring in their hearts. Divine doctrines from the Book of Mormon began to dispel the sorrow and sadness from the loss of their little one.

The words of Abinadi comforted them: “Little children … have eternal life” (Mosiah 15:25). They learned that eternal life is God’s kind of life, to live forever as families in God’s presence. It is the greatest gift He has given to us (see D&C 14:7). Furthermore, they were taught that little children cannot sin, for they are blameless (see Mosiah 3:16, 21; D&C 29:46–47) and need not make the covenants with Christ their parents do (see Mosiah 6:2).

The infant the couple lost has the promise of eternal life. To enjoy the same kind of life their child will enjoy, the parents need to repent, become like their little one, and make covenants with God, beginning with baptism by immersion by one who holds priesthood authority, followed by confirmation as members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and bestowal of the Holy Ghost.

For my mom, this was incentive.  She so wanted to be with these children she lost, and those of us that lived, that she was determined to live the way she needed to be with us again.  I'm sure Hannah had a knowledge that through righteous living (on both of their parts) she could be with Samuel again.  Maybe this knowledge made it easier for her to not be with him as much during this earthly life.  After all, she must have had an inkling of this which is why she said she had loaned him to the Lord, inferring that she'd get him back after their mortal existence.

What if Hannah, or my mom would've let their guard down after these experiences?  What if they'd forgotten the Lord?  What if they only remembered him when it was convenient?  What if they were nice to people but didn't follow all the teachings of the Lord?  Is that good enough?  A baby or child is pure.  Can purity be with impurity?  What is the limit of impurity that can be with purity?  Jesus Christ suffered and atoned for our sins- he now has the right to free us of our sins and he will if we do our part and repent, make amends and quit doing those things which are impure.  There are also promises which must be made and kept through baptism and other ordinances.  The beauty of this is that through scripture and prophets we have the know-how to be with our families again after this life.  Will we achieve what is needed in order to get there?  It's up to us.  We've been told that no unclean thing can dwell in the presence of the Lord.  If these sweet children are with the Lord then where does that leave us?  Needing to do those things which the Lord taught us.

I'm amazed at how many people try to make up their own rules thinking they count.  I remember a taking a humanities class.  The professor said that for those of us who attended every class and handed in every assignment on time we would get no lower than a C+, no matter what the test scores and assignment grades were.  He was the teacher, the boss.  He determined how the scores would effect the grades.  There was a young man I got to know in my study group that showed up to class most of the time but not all the time.  He attended our study group consistently (I think because it was mostly girls) and took us girls out on dates to the "community events" that were part of the assignments.  He frequently missed the labs and I'm sure his tests suffered for that since it's where we got to know the different art work and classical songs.   When it came time for grades he earned something lower than the C+ (I don't recall what the letter grade was).  He was very upset.  He went to the professor and demanded the C+.  He was told that since he didn't attend every class period he had not met the requirements to earn that C+.  This boy felt he still deserved it because he went to a study group which was above and beyond the requirements.  Evidently the professor explained to him that going to the study group was great but not part of the deal in order to get the C+.  The boy was stuck with the letter grade he earned.  I remember him telling me how unfair it was, how the teacher could've made an exception but chose not to.  He felt he was entitled to the grade because he met his own standards.  The rules are set forth, if they are met the extra blessing is given, if they aren't the extra blessing is not given.  President Ezra Taft Benson said, "You are free to choose — but you are not free to alter the results of those choices.”  If God was to go back on this then he would cease to be God, not following his own laws, therefore becoming imperfect.


Just as Hannah and my mom loved their children our Heavenly Father loves us.  Because he wants us to return to him and because he wants us to be with our spouses, children and families again he has given us the steps we must follow.  He hasn't left us in the dark.  Families CAN be together.  It's up to us to do what's required so that we can obtain that wonderful, remarkable blessing.