A Parent's Sweet-Revenge

I am very aware that I posted my son's mission call on our family blog Browning Dirt but not here.  Why?  I have no idea.  I could have posted on both.  I guess maybe I thought people with a personal interested in it would go to my family site.  It has been brought to my attention though, that it's "the funniest thing" at least one person, "has ever seen" and it should have also been posted on Youtube for the whole world to see Kevin and I get back at our son for all the years of teasing, joking, embarrassing, pranking etc.  What was I thinking? Lol.  So even though some of you may have already seen this, and because it was strongly advised by my friend Heather, I'm sharing our FAKE mission call prank we pulled on Kalten, here on Tidbits For Trina.   Also it's fitting since his farewell is this weekend.

Here's the short background.  Everyone who knows Kalten can attest to the fact that he'll do anything for a laugh, including but not limited to hiding from his school teacher on top of a cabinet, writing an essay about his hot mom, eating an entire box of Twinkies in about 3 minutes for his senior talent show while his class sang the Twinkie song and constantly putting yellow food coloring in the toilet to make me crazy.

My husband and I have been looking for a way to get back at Kalten (for years), but he's always a step-ahead of us.  Then we got creative.  I wrote a fake mission call thinking it would be funny if he and all who came to hear him read his call thought it was real then slowly realized it was fake- as we added a bit of Star Wars.  We looked at a real one then copied the way it looked enough that it would pass...right down to the letter head and a postal stamp on the envelope.  When his real one came we hijacked it and switched it out for the fake, keeping the real one aside for after the joke.  I've posted what the letter actually said after the video.


         

Here is what it said:

Dear Elder Browning,

You are hereby called to serve as a missionary of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.  You are assigned to labor in the Las Vegas, Nevada Mission.  It is anticipated that you will serve for a period of 24 months.

You should report to the missionary training center in Provo, Utah on Wednesday June 23, 2012.  You will prepare to teach the gospel in the Calmarian language.  Your mission president may modify your specific call according to the needs of the mission.  

You have been recommended as one worth to serve in the City of Sin.  Because of your diligence in keeping the commandments of God you will serve as a special missionary called to help cleanse this Sodom and Gomorrah like city of its great iniquity.  It will take a superior amount of study and being on guard of the ways of the adversary, to not fall prey to the evil ways of your surroundings.

Your purpose will be to seek those souls who've been tempted and fallen to the dark side and help them come unto Christ.  As you serve diligently your mission president, General Ackbar, will be a strenth and guid to you.  We wish you luck with your future endeavors as a missionary of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.  May the force be with you.

                                                     Sincerely,  

                                                     George Lucas

                                                     President

Perilous Duck Crossings

Ducks crossing highway

A few weeks ago our family was driving into Boise, ID.  We were travelling in the left lane of the freeway, a concrete barrier on the left side of us, cars on the right.  Suddenly a mother duck and her babies following behind started across the freeway.  The car just ahead and to the right barely missed the little ducks.  I had to do some good maneuvering to miss them as well and everyone in the car inhaled sharply as I came within just inches.  I'm sure the mother didn't realize that she was leading her family toward a concrete barrier which would stop their progression and complicate keeping her family safe even further.  But certainly she had to know that crossing a busy street was potentially hazardous.  The only way out would be to backtrack that treacherous and possibly perilous road before they could reach safety.

I wonder how often we, as parents, lead our children into dangerous ground thinking nothing about it.  Possibly we watch inappropriate TV shows with less than virtuous messages.  Maybe it's music.  Perhaps we lead them into dangerous ground with our attitudes or negative language.

http://activerain.com/blogsview/909216/things-aren-t-always-as-they-seem

It is more important than ever that we realize our children follow us, whether we want them to or not, they're watching and most likely will emulate our actions.  From the time they're born they learn by watching and imitating us or doing those things we teach them- everything from talking to eating to dressing to running.  It doesn't stop once they hit elementary and have other teachers and friends to follow.  They continue to watch us.  To imitate.  What a terrible feeling when we realize our kids have followed us into dangerous territory and we have a lot of fixing to do.  What makes it worse is that there are no guarantees that our children will follow us back across that treacherous ground and into safe territory again.

The best option is to just keep ourselves in the safety of the Lord's commandments in the first place.

I'd like a burger and three regular sized sodas, please.

Sunday night was the Miss USA pageant.  We love watching the interview section of pageants.  How the ladies handle themselves under pressure.  Whether they answer the way they feel or answer the way they think the judges want them to.  Their answers can be very telling.

Miss Georgia, Jasmyn Wilkins, was the first of the top 5 to answer an interview question.  This is what she was asked, “The Mayor of New York City plans to ban the sale of large, sugary drinks. Does this go too far?”  This was her answer, “I don’t think it goes too far, you know.  Those drinks have so much sugar in them, and they are unhealthy for you. They are kinda delicious. I love to have my Big Gulp when I go to7-11. But I think that it is a little bit too much, and I’m glad that they are putting some sort of restrictions on it. So. I think it’s a good thing.”

I'm becoming more and more amazed at the amount of people who think force is the best way to handle things.  When my kids were little I worried about them touching the stove top.  I took precautions to help their safety.  Put the handles toward the back of the stove rather than hanging over the top where little fingers could grab at it for instance.  I also taught them about hot and cold.  When the stove was on sometimes I'd pick them up and carefully put their hands just close enough they could feel heat without getting burned, but so they'd feel and understand that the stove was hot.  Then I'd explain that we don't touch things that are hot or we get burned.  As they got a little older and they could see over the top of the stove, I taught them in more detail such as if the burner is red it's hot, don't touch it.  If the oven door is warm it's probably hot inside etc.  Then when they got even older I taught them how to use the oven and stove top using safety measures.  


Never once did I move the oven out to the garage door.  Never did I build a wall around the stove and forbid my kids go near it.  I educated them and yes, I let them learn from natural consequences.   There were a couple times that a child reached up and touched the hot plate...none of them ever did it twice.


What would have happened if I'd have just taken the temptation away?  Moved the stove out to the garage, protected them from making the wrong decision?  Where would they be now?  They would be adults who haven't learned about hot ovens and stove safety.  They wouldn't be as informed and educated and they'd probably be burning themselves every time they made Ramen noodles, which is probably all they could cook too.

What about God?  Didn't he give us agency?  The right to choose wrong or right.  I'm grateful that he allowed Adam and Eve to eat that apple.  Yes, because of it they were kicked out of the garden, but because of it you and I are here as well.  Free agency is a beautiful thing.  If we are forced to choose someone else's way how will we learn and grow?  We can't.


Do you recall a time in your life when someone wouldn't allow you to make a choice you wanted?  It probably didn't go over well.  Possibly, you were even more tempted than when you had the option.   Look at how well prohibition went over.


Back to the large sugary drinks.  It's pretty well known that a 64 oz. soda is bad for us.  But by banning large drinks will that stop people from drinking lots of soda or other sugary drinks?  I say no.  Instead of drinking a can of soda can't someone drink 3?  Instead of getting the large cup at the restaurant can't someone just refill their small cup over and over?  I know that if I eat or drink ANYTHING in large quantities it's going to be bad for my body.   But does that mean that because I may not choose the right someone else should just take the option away so that I don't fail?  Of course not!  


As adults, do we really want people determining what's good for us, what's okay for us, what's allowed-and then enforcing it?   What if the next politician that comes along says ice cream is bad for us and bans it?  Then chocolate cake?  Then fried chicken?  Should restaurants only be able to serve one serving size courses?  Should you only be able to purchase a 4 oz. steak at your local steak house?  Certainly that would help this country's percentage of obesity improve.  What happens when food isn't enough?  When some politician says we're overweight because we're too idle.  Will televisions have auto turn-off timers?  Will certain religions be banned because someone decides which ones are right or wrong?  


Wherefore, men...are free to choose liberty and eternal life, through the great Mediator of all men, or to choose captivity and death.
2 Nephi 2:27


We have to allow people to make decisions, even if they're wrong.   That's God's plan.  Who are we to say there's a better way?  If this life is a test then we must be allowed to succeed or fail.   It's often through our failures that we succeed.   Look around.  Who do you know that is strong and successful?  Do you think they ever made a wrong turn that got them to where they are now?  I'm guessing yes. 


I know what you're thinking.  They may not turn around though.  They may just keep going down the wrong road.  This is why we have such an obesity problem.  You're right.  They may not.  But that's their choice, they'll reap the consequences whether it's weight, health or both.  I guarantee that they know why their overweight or unhealthy- and taking away large sugary drinks isn't going to fix this.  If someone wants temporary pleasure instead of long-term rewards of health then that's their choice.  Why is this so hard to see?  Force is Satan's plan!


Moses 4:3 Wherefore, because that Satan rebelled against me, and sought to destroy the agency of man, which I, the Lord God, had given him, and also, that I should give unto him mine own power; by the power of mine Only Begotten, I caused that he should be cast down;


BTW, Miss Georgia was 4th runner up.  Last place of those who answered questions.  

Mother's Day Confessions

Confession:  For years I've secretly dreaded Mother's Day.  This  is should be that day of the year that I basque in the glory of my beautiful children and the wonderful job I'm doing to raise them.  It  is should be the day that I'm proud to say I'm a mom because no one else can do it quite like I can.  It  is should be the day that I don't have to listen to any bickering because in return for all the love I dish out to my family they, just for 12 hours or so, want to say thanks and show me love the way I will appreciate most.

I know it will start with breakfast in bed (well, unless it's like two years ago when everyone forgot until it was time to get ready for church).  The fire alarms will go off and wake me before the kids can bring my food...I love that part actually.  I'll hear them argue outside the door over who gets to give me the plate, and who has to give me the glass of milk or come in empty handed.  They may even argue over who did more on the breakfast preparations.  I wish they weren't so competitive and I could certainly do without the arguing but I do love that they want to please me.  To show me they love me.

The day will be inundated with stories of our near perfect moms in our blog posts (Hey I do this too, I'm not judging), magazine and news articles and talks at church.  They'll be about the moms who know where everything is when no one else does.  The moms who make everything better because they are the one person in the home that is patient and doesn't get frustrated.  The mom who runs their kids from one lesson to another and still manages to keep the house spotless and cook a homemade 4 course meal with parsley on the side and volunteers three times a week at the local food bank.  The stories will tell how moms are great multitaskers and have eyes in the back of their heads and have warm cookies and milk ready for their kid when they return home from school every day.  They have the best advise and can always make their kids smile when they've had a bad day.  They'll have the qualities I have...and many more that I don't.

Don't get me wrong.  I think it's wonderful that there's a holiday to honor those of us who do the most important of our Father's work. I wouldn't have it any other way.  But for years I've wondered if in that high esteem given us there is actually an expectation that's set that's too high for us moms to feel we can actually achieve.  Usually, by the end of the day I am realizing all the things I fail consistently in....and maybe that's good in some ways- after all we need reminders so we can continue to improve.  It'd just be nice if Mother's Day was the day we could take a break from the reality of our weaknesses and feel good about being a mom in spite of them.  Am I the only weird one?  That in people's desire to celebrate a mother's greatest strengths, and with all good intentions try to uplift us, we see our greatest weaknesses?  I have a feeling I'm not the only weird one.  And yes, I've discovered that it is weird.  Actually, it makes no sense.

Last night I went to a positive marriage class taught by a remarkable wife and mother, Carleen Tanner.  She talked about unreal expectations.  Although she was talking in regards to the expectations we set on our spouses I realized I need to apply this to myself.  I listen to the stories of other mom's perfections and expect myself to be able to duplicate ALL their strengths.  No mom can do that.  Why should I expect if of myself?

I also have set unreal expectations on those around me- although they didn't know it until now.  I'm basically saying, don't tell me the good stuff mom's do because it'll make me feel bad, but certainly don't tell me what they do wrong either because that's just plain rude.  Where does that leave anyone?  Out there in la-la land afraid to say anything for fear of offending me.  I'm the problem.  So the change needs to start 

with me.  And I'm proud to say I've had a change of heart.

Now, I'm looking forward to reading your mom blogs and listening to the wonderful stories of people's near perfect moms, at church.  And I'll be saying, "Good for you, to have a mom that awesome!  SOMEDAY I hope to have those same qualities, but I need to work on a little at a time."  I'll still have reservations.  I'll be hoping that my own kids won't be taking a mental tally and feeling slighted.  But when those thoughts pop in my head I'll remember who wants them there (and it's not God) and start my own list of the things I'm good at.  And when my kids fight and bicker and I honestly don't know what to do to make them stop I'll try my hardest to remember that somehow, in my imperfect glory, I'M the best mom for MY kids!

Happy Mother's Day!